Well guess what for the misinformed, they do exist and they thrive. Centrally it is something that I can not really put my finger on. It does lend itself to this invariable conclusion. This one central point that I have grown to appreciate and discover more about as I continue on this journey with Christ:
"Cliques and Clans hinder growth."
Why am I writing this blog you may ask? Why have I taken the time to write about this little talked about, danced around, head-in-the-sand, white under belly of Christianity that completely turns me off from joining more groups for in the fear of being hurt?
Well because it recently happened to me, and it hurt pretty bad.
Now I am not going to trash anyone or tell anyone their names, ever. I am not going to run them through the mud or make a mockery of their 'group'.
Here is the story of what happened:
(To give you some background, I have been studying drum kit for over 6 years and more recently of the last 3 I had a chance to study under some one very patient who was willing to take the time to teach me how to properly play the drums, how to play worship more effectively and how to start to master my instrument of calling/choice.)
In November '09, I was minding my own business, then I learned there was some meetings being held out in the country. I already have some history with 'the place' that these meetings were being held and is part of the reason why I continued to play drums was to come back to these meetings and play drums for the Lord and to bring others into the throne room of God. I am a drum warrior, you see. I heard about a time of these meetings at 'The Place' so I decided to attend at the chagrin of my wife, I attended as I did not want to be hindered nor did I want to miss out on any thing that God has 'going on'. I am passionately fervent for a move of God in this area and in my life.
As I arrived I was greeted by familiar faces and had a wonderful time. I felt the presence of God moving through the crowd of folks as I sat and basked in the Glory. What a wonderful night! I came home rejuvenated and immediately expressed my wishes to my wife that I wanted to join the worship team. I let the powers that be know right away. Since it has been my goal for years to return, I thought this would be a great time to come back and to lay my skills at His feet, as kind of a home coming, since there is where the passion to play drums, really was ignited. Here begins the problems.
(I would also go as far as placing some responsibility on myself for not accurately ascertaining expectation levels before joining the team.)
I was invited to join the team as a 2nd string drummer as the worship leaders son is the 'lead drummer'. Do you already see the writing on the wall? I should have. Anyways, I go to a practice, we play some songs, we worship etc. I was on the djembe. I did a few rolls on a ride cymbal since I was close to the kit. No problem, nothing was said besides 'Good Job Brian' 'Excellent!' etc etc. I go home all excited. The next time we meet, right in front of everyone, the leader says 'Playing on the drummers ride was not cool. That is just like someone coming up to you and playing the guitar while you were playing it.' I was aghast. I started to leave and I should have kept walking. I said 'I will just be in the way' 'No! You aren't in the way. Just do not play on the drummers ride.' OK. Cymbals are different than guitars, if you are not playing a guitar, it could be played and not disrupt anything the drummer was doing, as long as it 'fit' in the music. While I should have asked the drummer to play a roll on his cymbal, not saying anything to me is not right either. I guess my mistake cancels it all out. I guess that is how it should be I suppose.
Weeks go on, I continue to ask to play drums and practice them with the team. I am continually denied, which is fine. I have long suffering determination. I decide to wait until I am asked. One night, the drummer decides not to show up. They tell me I am playing drums that night. I was put on the spot and was not prepared mentally or was I prepared to play the kit. Besides the drum kit at 'The Place' needs new heads/tuning and sounds close to awful but tolerable. I should have turned the offer down but so desperate was I to play that I reluctantly agreed. I had to switch everything since I am left handed. The leader says 'You can switch the drums as long as you put it all back the way you had it.' Which I agreed to but it did not make sense in my head because what about when it is my turn, I have to SETUP everything left handed, how does it make it all fair? (see my point?) The night went off 'ok' with few slip ups. Guess how many times I heard the songs we played that night? Yeah you guessed it, one or two! We ushered in the presence of God and the people were able to worship freely and we played freely for about 3 hours. I have heard that there is 'freedom and liberty' at 'The Place' which is what I believed and still believe to exist at 'The Place'.
We went on and practiced and the 'lead drummer' was back and I was back to djembe/other percussion instruments which I was/am fine with. It lets me expand on rhythms and other musical tastes and mix them in with our current music. I am an experimental djembe player and last night did not go off very well. This comes to point of this blog. We played through some songs and NOTHING was said to me, no direction, no correction etc etc. and it went off great last night. The leader said 'Good job!' although I noticed about halfway through the set, the drummer just quit playing. Truth be known I was playing a indian rhythm called 'Bhangra' well it really threw the drummer off and it messed up the end of a song for him. He sat down and sulked his way through the rest of the set as his parents kept looking back at him and asking him if he was going to play. He just sat and sat. 'good job, great job' that night.
I get a phone call 2 hours later which basically said 'I hate doing this but you are off the team. I should have prayed harder before I let you on' WTFreak???!?!?!? What really floored me was that the leader said 'I am not spiritually connected to us.' 'You play beautiful rolls and everything but your rhythms do not fit our team'. WHAT? Translation that I received 'We are holier than you and we do not want someone who is not as holy as us'
How am I supposed to know what rhythms to play if I am not given any direction. I finally put all the puzzle pieces together. This is about the worship leaders son not getting his way and not wanting a superior drummer to upstage him. Yeah it sounds conceited but I do not know any other reason why this would happen. No direction, nothing said. I believe there was ultimatum put to the leader and they caved in. Besides we do not need some fat drummer showing up our slim athletic son who is a drummer. I just needed to vent and blow off steam. I am sorry but now I am going to be cautious of any team I join the future. This is ridiculous. She did not have the wherewithal to come to me directly and confront me. Had to make a phone call 2 hours later. This is a warning to anyone who wishes to join Christian worship teams, get your expectation levels first. I can not stress this fact more. Thanks for reading this blog. Leave comments please and let's discuss.
